King's College London

We all experience sadness sometimes. It is never pleasant, of course, but it can be useful – for example when it pushes us to make time and conserve energy after something goes wrong, so that we can reassess the events and plan forward.

However, sadness can become unhelpful. It may lead us to feel very distressed. It may influence the way we behave, for example making us so tired and fatigued that we struggle doing things we like. It can even affect the way we think, keeping us stuck in the past, suggesting that we may be guilty for what happened or unable to get out of the situation, and making us see everything shades darker than it is.

However, these relationships are mutual, which means that if we can make small changes in the way we think and behave, we may be able to reduce the intensity of our sadness. Here are some tips that many young people have found helpful in coping with their sadness.

You can also watch the film on YouTube.

We all experience sadness sometimes. Although it feels unpleasant, sadness can help you to pause and conserve energy after something has gone wrong. It can help you reassess past events and plan forward.

However, sadness can be unhelpful if it leads to deep feelings of distress. It can leave you too exhausted to do the things you like. It can even affect the way you think and keep you stuck in the past. It can even keep you feeling guilty over a situation, or make it seem worse than it actually is.

However, making small changes in the way you think and behave could reduce the intensity of your sadness. Here are some tips that many young people have found helpful in coping with their sadness.

Watch the film on YouTube.

Stay healthy

Sadness can make you feel tired and out of energy. To reduce fatigue, it is important you get enough sleep and eat enough throughout the day. Read more for NHS advice on diet, sleep, and physical exercise.

Remember what you are capable of

Do the opposite of what you were doing when you started to feel sad. Changing your emotions can be difficult, but a change in the way you think and behave may influence how you feel.

When sad, you may feel as if you’re spiraling, causing you to distance yourself from relationships and activities that bring you joy. You're sad, so you stop doing things you usually enjoy, which in turn, makes you feel even more sad. To stop yourself from spiraling completely, make a conscious effort to do things you like.

First, write down a list of activities that are meaningful to you, bring a sense of achievement, or enjoyment. Note how rewarding they are (or used to be) and how easy they are to do now. This is to help you prioritise which activities to do.

Second, schedule these activities in your diary to make sure that you have time for them.

Third, try to follow through with them, even if you don’t feel like it! Start by committing to five minutes at a time doing your fun activity – or two minutes if you need to.

Finally, note down how you feel before and after the activity, to learn the ones you enjoy the most and want to continue. Which are yours? Immersing yourself in art, starting a new hobby, going for a walk, talking with friends or family?

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Sometimes sadness is a result of

• interpersonal conflicts

• difficulties in starting or sustaining relationships

• personal loss

• big life changes

At other times, sadness gets in the way of interpersonal connections, as it can make us turn inward or lash out if we’re feeling irritable.

How can you better nurture or navigate your relationships? Can you say things in a different way? Distance yourself from toxic relationships? Be more forgiving and kinder to others? Be more open about how you feel?

Making any of these changes can be very difficult, but they can be helpful. Greater social support can help you face any challenges.

Meditate to center yourself in the present

Let go of negative thoughts. When we are sad, our brain can trick us into thinking that everything is a shade darker than it is. This means focusing on just the negative aspects of a situation and ignoring everything else.

These negative thoughts may become increasingly repetitive, intrusive, and difficult to suppress. This type of “ruminative” thinking can be beneficial, helping us to solve problems and prevent future errors. However, it often also be mentally exhausting and lead to us feeling much worse.

So, what can you do?

• Identify negative thoughts when they appear and label them as such.

• Accept that negative thoughts are a symptom of sadness and are not facts, even though they may seem real in the moment.

• Recognise positive thoughts and practice gratitude

• Engage in acts of kindness (for yourself and others). Creating more of these positive experiences can help balance the negative ones that sadness often brings.

More KeepCool information

• Read more about the KeepCool project
• Find out more about coping strategies for anger
• Find out more about coping strategies for anxiety.

Crisis helplines

If you are in crisis, please contact your GP or one of the following organisations that can offer advice:

• Call Samaritans at 116 123 (lines open 24/7) or visit their website at www.samaritans.org.
• Call Childline at 0800 1111 (lines open 7.30am to 3.30am Monday to Friday, and 9am to 3.30am Saturday to Sunday) or visit their website at www.childline.org.uk.
• Call Mind at 0300 123 3393 (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday, except for bank holidays) or visit their website at www.mind.org.uk.